When I first blogged

This blog is 5 years old now, and it seems so far away! When I first started writing this blog in 2006, it had over 100 posts. I had told myself that I would try to write something every day, or at least every other day. I believe it was the time when I was just out of college and waiting to start working, and I believe I continued to blog after I started working as well. I can't believe its been more than a year since my last entry into this blog! Surely it wasn't meant to take this long to write again here.

Unfortunately, things change, and passions fizzle out. For me, its been difficult to stick to passions that stay within me with the same intensity that I have when I first set out on fulfilling them. I tell myself I love writing, but whenever I begin to write something down, it eventually breaks down into severe self-criticism and self-loathing. My frustrations at what I want to do but I can't, or can't get myself to do just pour out in very insipid and banal language. Just like what I am doing here.

I had written in a wordpad entry (something which I have begun using as my journal) about how I had met somebody who had told us - me and a group of friends - to never stop doing what we love doing, and what we would like to pursue as a career in the future. For example, if I want to write, i should continue to write regularly, for if i stop writing with the belief that I can start again whenever i want to, or need be, it will be very difficult for me to do so. Unfortunately, I haven't written anything professional, or even semi-professional, since my days at The Triangle. I was involved in the marketing magazines at IIM Calcutta, but I never wrote anything in them, with my time and effort mainly going into the planning of the magazines. These notepad entries have been my sincere effort (in my own mind), to continue writing whatever I can think of into some physical form. Most of my good thoughts, I believe, simply die out in my mind, waiting to see the light of day. When I lie in bed at night, I am filled with such wonderful thoughts, ideas and rants that I promise myself that I will write them down the next day. Most of my thoughts are not that fortunate.

Since I have started photography, I can actually post some of my photographs here as well, and that is an exciting prospect, because that is one area where I am sure I will be able to contribute with enough gusto and effort to actually make it worthwhile, and perhaps enjoyable for anybody else to go through.

Coming to the theme that dominated this blog when I first started out - politics - will continue to be there. I mean I make no bones about telling anyone and everyone about how much I hate the government, the Congress party and all the games that these people play, perhaps without realizing the hurt they will cause to the country's future. Maybe they do, and there is method to their madness, but this is a theme I wanted to write more on, with a little more research done in the mainstream media and opinion pieces. I don't see why I shouldn't, or why I couldn't.

There is a churn I am expecting at work, and perhaps some long term changes with respect to my job here at Essar and my own profile. I have been without a lot of work the past few days, and that perhaps is another reason I finally turned to my blog again after such a long time. It is wrong on my part, and very unjust, that I needed so much free time with myself to finally remember that I had this beautiful blog that I had started with so many expectations and visions, indicating on my part that i am still doing it only as an outlet to bide time, but I would sincerely like to believe that it is not so. Even if I can't post anything worthwhile, or without incisive opinions or insights, at least I will, or still, have a place where nobody but I venture and write to my heart's content.